My Experience with “Letters from Dad”
Allen Hager
The power of Blessing is being discovered by men across the country as they gather in Legacy groups to hear about and learn how to implement passing on a legacy of faith, hope and love, through the lost art of letter writing, to their wives, children and parents. I have had the privilege and joy of leading groups of dads on their journey of discovery over the past 5 years, as I have traveled with my work assignments from Texas, to Indiana, New York and Maryland. There are so many wonderful stories that are emerging that I want to share with you all. Here is just one,that was just updated to me today.
Jim is a long time construction superintendent and amazingly puts in a full day at work every day. He is a cancer survivor…. still, even though he has had numerous surgical procedures and no longer has a voice box, nor a tongue with which to speak. Over the course of the last several months, I have learned that he was told by his doctors that he would have maybe 8 to 10 months left to live. And that has been about a year and a half ago. As we have had a number of conversations (I talk, he writes on note cards) about life and death, faith, hope and family, I shared with him my excitement about learning to bless my family with letters that express words of high value…. words that paint a special future…. and words of active commitment. I have shared how these letters have opened an avenue of communication with my adult son who has struggled for many years with alcoholism and drug abuse.
And so after a number of our conversations, I gave him Greg Vaughn’s book Letters From Dad. He loved it and was inspired to do something he had never done before…. open his heart in a way to express love and affirmation in a letter to his 19 year old son, with whom he had been having a great deal of difficulty for some time. He was excited to get his LettersFromDad kit recently but struggled to get started on The Letter., He said “ it was not hard at all once I finally got started… then the words just began to flow”. We hear this often from dads that join us on this adventure. Most men wonder if they could ever do this and many are fearful of what kind of response they will get, and wonder if all the emotional effort will be worth it.
Well, here is my friend’s update, and this, by the way, is also what we hear over and over from Dad’s who dare to embark on this journey :
“I did get the letter finished, and gave it to him last week.
It was quite emotional. He never expected anything like that.
You can feel the bond get tighter.”
The words of Malachi 4:6 are reverberating throughout the land: “… in the later days I will send the Spirit of Elijah to call the hearts of the fathers to the children and the hearts of the children to their fathers.” My friend has been given an extended time on the earth, and has found the courage to step up to bless his children this way. And so, how about you? You may not have a terminal disease, but you too have been given a short time here on earth to bless your loved ones. How are your letters coming ? Got ‘em started yet ? Don’t you think it’s time ?
